Protecting our Mental Health in Times of Conflict

The past few weeks have been incredibly challenging for all of us. We are grieving the October 7th massacre while also coping with the daily onslaught of physical and emotional stress caused by war and propaganda. This makes it all the more important to take extra care of ourselves and protect our mental health. It seems easier said than done, but it’s possible and, most importantly, an absolute necessity for our well-being. Read on to understand how our body reacts to challenging times, as well as how to process everything in a healthy way. You will find a few (hopefully) helpful resources at the bottom of the article.

If you’re like me, you’ve spent the last weeks glued to your phone, watching every piece of news and content available and shared on social media. The week following the massacre was the worst; I switched from Instagram to TikTok to Ynet, looking at photos and videos whose horrors my mind hasn’t fully comprehended to this day. At the end of the day, I felt drained, hopeless, and profoundly sad.

I was haunted by nightmares and visions of terrorists jumping out of bushes, and every sound made me skip and observe my surroundings in hyper-alertness.

After a few days of watching me, my partner sent me an article from Ynet about how consuming violent footage can lead to secondary trauma. Dr. Ofer Moner writes in this article that

“Driven by curiosity and addiction, our minds convince themselves that they can cope with the harsh visuals and narratives. Thoughts like "I must witness this to grasp their cruelty" or "I need to watch this to know what to share" are ways our minds justify this craving for information (...). However, our minds are not truly equipped to process such atrocities, and viewing these videos could potentially lead to secondary Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder (PTSD).”

The thing is that a part of me felt guilty for not watching, for not putting myself into the shoes of those who didn’t have the choice to look away. I felt that if I lived their experience, I shared their suffering and could help, but sadly, this is not how it works. Suffering cannot be divided and therefore reduced, instead, it multiplies exponentially with every soul that bears witness.

Nevertheless, reading the article made me realize two important things: I’m not helping by consuming all of the horrors and crippling myself with it. Secondly, it’s my responsibility to protect myself for my own sake and the sake of my loved ones. Here are a few things to help you process the events in a healthy way, and further stay shielded from harm and trauma.

Acceptance & Mindfulness

Every day is a rollercoaster of emotions. We go through stages of sadness, fear, anger, and pride within minutes, and trying to make sense of it can become overwhelming and confusing. It seems easier to just ‘switch off’ by either distracting ourselves or finding other ways to avoid dealing with it. While this can be a good coping mechanism in the short term, we have to be careful not to suppress too many unresolved experiences, as they might resurface again later in the form of long-term distress.

To avoid this, it’s helpful to normalize your feelings and create acceptance around them. Whenever you find yourself in a chaotic emotional state - when you're uncertain about your emotions or they seem too difficult to manage - try to pause. Pausing and allowing ourselves to be with our emotions lets us detangle the mess, separate everything into distinct feelings, and make sense of them. Allow yourself time to process.

**If you are experiencing emotions that seem too overwhelming and disrupt your daily routine for an extended period, please consider talking to a specialist. I am linking resources at the bottom of the article**

Do not beat yourself up for your feelings. Being sad is ok, being terrified is ok, and yes, being extremely angry is ok as well. All of our emotions are natural reactions to trauma and have a time and place to be. Remember, there are 5 stages of grief: denial, anger, bargaining, depression, and acceptance and every one of them is normal.

Setting Boundaries

Similar to the personal example I shared above, it’s important to set boundaries on the amount and intensity of news and graphic content we consume. It’s not about turning a blind eye to someone else’s suffering - it’s about safeguarding our mental health and ensuring our ability to continue functioning and offering help in the ways we find meaningful.

And talking about helping: It is just as important to set boundaries when it comes to giving. Over the last weeks, we saw an eruption of volunteer work across the entire country: whether it is cooking, collecting donations, or delivering supplies,... Israel is truly unique in its way of dealing with crisis and we are masters in converting grief into action.

In the days following the attack, I was restless and had this incredible urge to do something. No donation and nothing I did felt like it truly mattered. I thought I was useless and when my partner and I boarded a flight to Germany a few days later, I felt like a coward and a traitor, especially when seeing so many people stay and volunteer. But here is the thing I had to understand myself: every single one of us plays a different role in this situation.

People help in different ways, and every tiny thing matters. Maybe you are good at social media advocacy, or maybe you are better at creating safe spaces for people to be. Maybe you manage to make people laugh during those times, or maybe you allow someone else to help you instead.

You are playing your own destined role, and sometimes doing nothing is enough.

Healthy Healing

Even though humans (especially those living in Israel) are incredibly resilient and capable of dealing with a lot, we need to acknowledge the necessity to heal ourselves - physically and emotionally. I know that it always seems easier to invest the energy we have into helping others, but I cannot stress enough how important it is to invest (at least) some of the time into ourselves. As one of my favorite quotes by Eleonor Brownn goes: “You cannot serve from an empty vessel”.

Stevan E. Hobfoll, an expert in treating anxiety disorders, stress, and PTSD, states ‘calming’, ‘connectedness’, and ‘hope’ as 3 of the 5 essential elements for immediate mass trauma intervention. Being in a constant state of fear and anxiety is extremely taxing, and we need to counter this by taking time to calm our nervous system and being kind to ourselves. Going for a walk, reading a light book, taking a bath, or a long shower - everything that takes your mind off of what is happening and lets you reconnect to your body.

Community and connectedness is another pillar that promotes healing. Surrounding yourself with people who can relate to your experience and understand you is empowering and liberating. It allows you to process experiences and normalize your reactions. Hobfoll also writes that “positive emotions which include joy, humor, interest, contentment, and love … lead to effective coping”, so allow yourself to laugh and feel good, even when times are grim.

Lastly: hope. I know that this one can seem unrealistic and like ‘wishful thinking’ at times, but it is essential for us to never lose hope and remain optimistic. Whether it’s for manifesting a brighter future or preventing ourselves from internalizing a negative and pessimistic worldview that anticipates a future yet to unfold.

Another beautiful thing about living in Israel is that we are not short on helping hands, professionals, and communities. Here are just a few great resources that you can check out:

Mindful yoga practice with Bar Alkalay: Bar has been my yoga teacher for many years and what I truly love about her practice is how mindful and inclusive it is. No need to be a master - just go and enjoy moving your body, breathing, and being in the moment. She also offers breathwork and meditation circles.

Emotional Healing with Ella Ray Phoenix: Ella is a holistic healer and offers energy work, tantra workshops, and meditations. If you carry stuck energy and are looking for a release, she can help. She also specializes in processing grief and trauma.

Chai Lifeline: A free crisis and trauma hotline particularly for English speakers in Israel and around the World. You can join free Zoom sessions teaching resilience during difficult times, run by Sherri Mandell.

Belle Aviv: My go-to online community for pretty much everything. Do you have a question about something specific? Want to vent? Need someone to talk to about everything and nothing? This group offers it all, and so far I’ve never been let down. Within Belle Aviv, you will find a chat for ‘acute mental health support’ - a group run by professionals ready to help whoever needs it.

Low-Intensity CBT with Aviva Pankowski: Cognitive Behavioral Therapy to help you deal better with anxiety, stress, panic attacks, and depression.

I am sure that there are so many more, but for now, I’ll stop right here and continue populating the list over the next couple of days.

Continue to Shine

Don’t underestimate how strong and resilient you are. Even if you find yourself on your knees, you either find the power to get up or reach out to someone who will lend a hand. We are in this together and we will get through this. Feel free to reach out if you need to talk.